I think most people would indicate that there is little to nothing “real” about reality television… which is why we enjoy is so immensely. Millionaire Matchmaker? I may or may not have subjected my poor husband to more than one episode of that highly uplifting and educational material. When it comes to “reality” TV, no one wants to watch the every day exciting-ness of most of our lives and producers of these shows are well-aware of that fact by choosing subjects that are anamolous in nature and ensuring that the people involved are sure to bring drama, suspense, and emotion to boot. It brings in the ratings!
I totally am guilty of filling my brain with mindless mush on occasion, and as a teen mommy myself, I was very interested in where MTV was going to go with the 16 & Pregnant and the Teen Mom series when it first popped up in 2009. I wasn’t overly disappointed at first. Especially on Teen Mom, it was apparent that both the trials and tribulations of these young women were highlighted. I could relate some of their experiences to my own and to the ones I saw with the young mothers I’ve had the pleasure of working with over the years. The second season, I started to get uncomfortable watching the dynamic going on in Amber’s storyline, but felt that it was an adequate representation of some of the issues that teen parents faced, but I also felt that her issues were balanced by the fact the other three girls seemed to be earnestly trying to make their lives better to the best of their abilities, with of course, pitfalls along the way.
But then I started seeing these young women in the tabloids and I quickly saw what had been a more documentary-style television show (a la MTV’s True Life, which I think is one of the more excellent reality TV shows out there) take an unfortunate turn. The last season of Teen Mom 2 with Jenelle, Leah, Kailyn, and Chelsea became unfortunate to say the least and the current season of 16 & Pregnant is not faring much better with an explosion of tabloid exposure and court cases involving everything from drug use to domestic violence. A show that started off as a potential cautionary tale to teenagers in general about the challenges of teen parenthood, but that could also offer positive role models for teen moms themselves, has quickly turned into Maury territory. ”You are NOT the father!” Sheesh.
Some people might try to interject here and say that all of this ugly is what teen parenthood is all about and that all MTV is doing is revealing the truth. However, I would make the argument that, first of all, I don’t think what is being portrayed currently is what is real across the board for all teen parents – I think MTV has stumbled on what works and is attracting/selecting girls who want their 15 minutes of fame and are aware that drama sells and adjust their behavior accordingly. That is not to say that parents/couples don’t deal with the negative issues that are portrayed on the show; domestic violence, poor parenting, and drug use are very real in our culture… but it’s important to note that they are not, by any means, limited to teen parenthood. Additionally, these two particular shows and the storylines they have chosen to highlight are contributing to negative stereotypes about teen parents. The dictionary defines a stereotype as: “a widely held but fixed and oversimplified image or idea of a particular type of person or thing.” When people stereotype someone, they look for behavior from anyone in that group of people in order to confirm their belief in the validity of the statement… while often ignoring many other people who partake in the exact same behavior who may not fit the mold of what they are looking for. Obviously, the show itself is stereotyping many (if not all at this point!) of the young women by choosing to display only behavior that feeds into the stereotype of teen parents being irresponsible, immature, and at times, even abusive. A consequence of that though is that the show is also perpetuating that same negative stereotype in the general population among people who view/hear about the show. People begin to look for the Ambers and the Jenelles in every teen mom they encounter and assume that the issues of these troubled young women are representative of the hundreds of thousands of teenagers who embark into parenthood with a “-teen” still attached to their age.
The funny thing about stereotypes… or perhaps ironic is a better word?… is that they lead to what is known as a self-fulfilling prophecy. If I am a mother at 16 and everyone around me, including the media, is telling me that this is what teen motherhood is like, that’s the shape my life is going to start to take on without other mediating factors. Research has indicated this trend over and over again when documenting the poor performance of certain groups in our educational system, for one example. Of course a lot of the statistics we have about the pitfalls of teenage parenthood are distributed as a way to discourage teenagers from procreating, but on the flipside of that, they also are a discouragement to teenagers who have already procreated, creating an environment of feeling disheartened and defeated before you’ve even begun the journey. I have been disappointed to see, in multiple episodes of MTV’s two shows, young people lamenting that because they had their babies in high school they can no longer pursue their dreams of college with their parents nodding their heads in disappointment right along beside them… Um, what? Why have we created an environment where we so severely punish teenagers for having unprotected sex that one of the best things they could do to change the negative outcomes of their early childbearing — obtaining an education — is no longer viewed as a viable option?! As someone who went to college as a teen mom, it was no walk in the park (my mom can attest to the fact that I called her about 283857012 times the first semester, homesick and ready to drop out), but it was definitely feasible… and was definitely easier than some of the other options I had on the table in front of me like working full-time at a minimum-wage job that was going to take me no where and offer me no hope of ever providing a decent life for my tiny family of two. Many colleges across the country offer family housing so that single parents could even live on campus (which is what I did), some have daycares, some offer special programs for first-generation college students who may not know how to navigate the system… and even if moving out isn’t on the agenda, local community colleges often offer extremely affordable programs that can lead to decent paying jobs. Where are the girls on Teen Mom who are doing these good things and why isn’t that aspect emphasized more? With such a high profile, the young mommies who are inevitably watching might be motivated to look into those options for themselves and their children.
As I’ve discussed in previous entries, teen parenthood is not necessarily the problem here in and of itself. In fact, the teen pregnancy rate hasn’t gone up dramatically over the last century as many people might assume… it has stayed relatively the same, but became an issue of social concern when the age of marriage went up and, with it, lowered expectations of teenagers’ maturity levels who were no longer commonly getting married and raising families. I know some people might argue with me and say that shows about teenaged parents have an obligation to focus on the negative to serve as a PSA about the dangers of teen pregnancy… but I would make the counter argument that resources that showed inspirational stories of young parents achieving goals (and still making mistakes!) would provide a lot of societal good by disseminating information that young mothers might not otherwise have. Additionally, balancing the stories with a little less drama would work to de-bunk some of the negative stereotypes that the general population has which would create a culture that was more conducive to ensuring teen parents have the support they need to succeed, if not for themselves, for their children.
Teen parenthood has always existed, and always will exist. While I am glad there are people working to eliminate teen pregnancy through various avenues, I am hopeful for the day where we see more support for ensuring there are better outcomes for these families.
